God: Are You Listening?

As a vulnerable child I remember lying under my bed with paralyzing fear.  My parents used to argue constantly.  They were my idols and I looked to them often for comfort and solace as many children do.  When my parents were arguing I was scared because in my young mind I thought we should all live in harmony with love and happiness.  This fighting made become very insecure as a child. I would often think what if they break up?  What will happen to my life?  Who will protect me from the big world out there?  

My parents  were very loving and caring and I do not think they really knew how this affected me. They were so consumed  making sure that our necessities of life were being met that it placed an enormous amount of stress in their relationship and ultimately their marriage dissolved.


At five years old I used to pray not even fully aware of who God really was, but I did know that there was one.   I lied awake in fear many nights and I would pray with all my might that my parents would stop fighting.  So that is where my journey of spirituality began at five years old.  Praying to a God I did not know, or where he had come from.   I used to remember getting angry with God saying, “Why are you not answering my prayers?”, but essentially he was. My parents did stop fighting, but they were apart.  As an adult I have accepted that we may never ever get the answers and this can either destroy your faith in God, or restore your faith.   We need to accept the things that we cannot change and we may never get the answers we seek for.

I have also come to realize in my adult life is that money can destroy relationships if you allow it too as it did with my folks.  It nearly cost me my marriage as well.  As a young adult I became a victim of financial stature. I was consumed with stuff working three jobs at the sacrifice of my children and my marriage.  When our marriage dissolved temporarily it forced me to evaluate my life. I realized that no amount of money would make me happy if I did not have the love of my life to share it with.

The scriptures indicates  that we should be humble and money and stuff do not define our character.   Financial wealth should not breed arrogance towards others that do not have the financial wealth as you. What do I mean by that? Essentially, if you have been blessed with riches it does not mean that your are righteous and better than others. You should treat others with the same amount of respect, as they may have many other riches that you your self do not posses.  Philippians 2:3-4

It is easy to abandon God when life becomes complicated and your feel your prayer's are not being answered.   I mean what kind of God would want to harm innocent children?  Children are born naive, dependent on their folks to survive.  Why would God want his children to live in fear?, or in sickness?,  Why would a God give cancer to a young child?, Why?

What we don't know is God is working in our lives and it he is paving a path of abundance for us.  

He may not grant your prayer at that time but he his listening.  Maybe there is a lesson he is trying to teach you, or you are coming to him only when you are only  in need.  You may not always be loyal to him. We are all God’s children and he comes to us when we cry out and ask him for his guidance.  He has not always granted my prayers, but he has given me the strength to overcome some very difficult obstacles.