Suffering - A Test of Your Faith

The road to recovery is progressing slower than I anticipated, but nonetheless it is progressing. Dealing with a death of a loved one is not easy and I really don’t think there is right way or a wrong way to grieve. There are good days and bad days and as time progresses it does get easier.

Nearly seven months have gone since my 
mother departed into heaven. The wounds are still raw and I am not sure if they will ever heal. I am now an orphan at forty seven, missing the influence that my mother and father once had in my life here on earth. I know they are my guardian angels now and I often find myself saying out loud “right mom, right dad?” One of my regrets is not appreciating life soon than I have. My mother’s death has had a profound impact on my life, but for the better.


I often catch myself asking the question why. Why have my parents died of cancer? Why do I have to see my family suffer?  It is at these times you question your faith and your spirituality. Some people would quickly give up their faith saying no God would do this, but I quickly remember Job in the Old Testament. He too suffered continuous hardship. At first his friends tried to console him but then his friends had believed he was a sinner and he must have been deserving of this hardship.

When we see a Christian suffer we assume that they have brought this hardship upon themselves, but suffering is not a result of sin as we see with Job. Instead of asking the question why start asking the question what, what is God up too? He is trying to build our character as he did with Job and I am sure as he is doing with me as well. During the suffering I have remained loyal and patient and I just know in my spirit that God has a plan for my loyalty and like Job, I too will be flourished with abundance.


My recent journey of suffering has certainly tested my patience, but I am committed now more than ever to remain faithful. My only wish is that all that whom are suffering hardship have comfort in knowing that the best is yet to come. Don’t throw away your beliefs because life doesn’t seem fair. Do not dwell on the why’s dwell upon that what’s. Your character is being built, conditioned and strengthened. Trust me I know. My character is of titanium now and each day my soul is nourished with more love, forgiveness and gratitude. What once bothered me does no longer.



We are only here for a short time and each of us can make a profound difference in other’s lives as my mother has in mine. Her death on earth has resurrected my soul here on earth. As long as I am here I will continue to count my daily blessings because each day we have here on earth is a gift, a gift of life! Suffering really is not a curse, it is a premonition of better  things to come, you just have to believe it!